Notice your part while fighting binary thinking. You are not the most important, but you are important! You are not the only piece in this puzzle, but you are a piece! I won’t tell you right now a specific action to take, because this isn’t a 1, 2, 3 and done checklist. It’s a complete reorientation and lifestyle shift.
Read MoreIf you are somewhere in between, i.e., you want to do something to acknowledge the new year but you are also feeling resistant to opening up to the possibilities (because what's the point after the dumpster fire 2020 has been?), then I have something that might hit the spot.
Read MoreSometimes we avoid doing what we want because we have hidden and unconscious fears of our success, our power, and getting what we want. What we want doesn't feel safe.
For example, if you desire to have your own business, the hidden fear may be of needing to develop self-discipline. Or if the desire is wanting to build an instagram following, the hidden fear may be of visibility. Or If the desire is wanting more hot passionate sex, the hidden fear may be of feeling vulnerable and out of control.
Do you ever feel that pleasure just feels impossible in this world?
Or not important?
It makes sense.
The world is on fire.
When we live in a toxic culture where our bodies don’t belong to us.
Where rape culture exists.
Read MoreAn important step to root into self love is to address our shame.
First, let's differentiate between shame and guilt. Grateful for Brené Brown for articulating a concept which I have found profoundly helpful in loving myself more deeply. In Brené’s famous Ted Talk about vulnerability, she emphasizes the importance of separating shame from guilt.
While guilt says, “I made a mistake,” shame says “I am a mistake.”
See the difference?
Read MoreJournaling is a fantastic way to empty our heads and hearts from all the noise that can make it hard to think clearly in our lives. It’s an anti-utilitarian process that emphasizes the journey of writing yourself into knowing; of finding yourself as you go.
Read MoreIf you are like many people, receiving and feeling pleasure can be anywhere from somewhat difficult to VERY challenging. It may be hard to get out of your head and into your body... for many reasons.
Many folks I work with (including myself) struggle with dissociation. Especially during sex.
This is normal.
Read MoreOne habit that has been helping me stay centered through chaos is admitting when I feel scared. Whether it's when my partner and I are talking about something challenging, or when I'm navigating social media, or when I am trying to make any freaking decision during a pandemic, simply saying, "I feel scared" helps me stay grounded and not go into "pattern."
Why is this helpful? What do you mean by going into pattern??
Read MoreI deeply recognize that I hold the skill of discernment necessary to learn from someone and not want to emulate everything about them.
I think our collective unconscious has a sneaky habit of putting leaders and teachers high on pedestals and as soon as they fuck up, we rip them off.
Instead, may we learn to hold discernment and nuance.
Read MoreLife is such a dance and a paradox. I'm seeing the paradox everywhere.
The work is not and will never be about being in balance perfectly, or about always walking the middle path. It's about noticing when we feel out of balance and coming back into center. Just like meditation and mindfulness, it's not about clearing your mind, it's not always about being aware of sensations in your body.
It's about the return. The remembering.
Read MoreAs I step into the role of supporting others stepping into their roles, super meta I know, I’ve been going down the rabbit hole of understanding the interconnections between pleasure, politics, and what the fuck is success anyways.
Read MoreTo put yourself out there and lead in any capacity with integrity takes SUCH vulnerability. People will prop you onto a pedestal and rip you off of it without warning.
You’ve got to face the mess. Face your shame. Face perfectionism. Face your privilege and/or ALL of the systems of oppression that aren’t in your favor.
Read MoreThere is no secret is supporting our mental health, it’s a practice. Before you tune out, hear me out.
This is not about avoiding, bypassing, or downsizing. We need time and space for panic, rage, and grief.
This is about creating room for holding both. This practice is for everyone, but especially for you if
Read MoreLet’s be honest: Co-quarantaining, like we are experiencing right now, can put a lot of strain on relationships! If this is true for you, that’s VALID. I’ve been needing to remember all of my relationship tools and - oof!- am I grateful to have them. This is also the reason I thought this would be the perfect time to share them with you!
Read MoreIt’s okay to feel sad, dissociated or angry. It's okay to feel all or any, or frankly, none of these feelings. It’s okay to take a break from feeling. It’s a lot of work to not go numb. It’s okay to take breaks from that work. That being said, it’s always ok - even necessary - to embrace pleasure and joy, and you never have to feel guilty for that.
Read MoreA blog post on the topic of jealousy. In this post I debunk 15 myths around jealousy and offer some loving and gentle advice, because the reality is you are not alone and you are so so so normal...whether you are experiencing jealousy or caring about people who are.
Read MoreA blog post on the importance of boundaries, and how to enforce them. In this post I share two important ways to strengthen your boundaries. 1) By clearly knowing what you want and stating what you don’t want and 2) By pairing your “no” with a corresponding action/consequence.
Read MoreA blog post on the importance of boundaries, recognising your red flags, and how to get started building boundaries that make you feel nourished and held.
Read More
