Self Care Must Be Rooted in Anti-Racism, a Message for fellow White folks

“We can center and be scared. We can center and be angry. We can center and be disappointed. We can center and be critical. But it really helps to remember there is something that we are longing for. There is something that we love and we care about.”

-adrienne maree brown in their instagram video on January 7th, 2021

Hello love, I know that if you are here, you care about liberation. 

And today, I want to share a message for white folks, especially white folks in the US.

I bet you are on board with what I’m sharing and reminders can be helpful and help us orient.

What happened at the US Capitol on January 6th was white power and white terrorism. While not surprising, this horrific act disproportionally and intentionally impacts and traumatizes BIPOC.

Let’s take time to orient ourselves to what is happening. When a horrific racist event happens, there is often a surge in white folks paying attention and being willing to take action, but shortly after, that energy dissipates. Ebony Janice, who you can learn more about here, speaks to this beautifully and did a webinar on white urgency. I know this has been a pattern of mine.

I often ask you what you are feeling and needing because it’s easy to dissociate, in general and especially when horrific racist events happen and taking actions that aren’t from a centered place are more likely to have harmful impacts and aren’t sustainable. However, thanks to a recent conversation with one of my students, I am gently reminded that my leadership needs to stay crystal clear about being oriented towards anti-racism.

Since us white folks can use self care as an excuse to turn away from harm/racism and how we are a part of it, it’s important to frame self care within the context of liberation.

Self care is nuanced. The self care I speak of comes from the Self that deeply cares and recognizes our interconnectedness and orients us towards collective liberation. The self care that doesn’t let shame and fear stop us from moving towards love and liberation. BUT this interconnectedness has been manipulated by racist horrors like QAnon and Nazis, Nazi Hippies: When the New Age and Far Right Overlap, so this perspective must be rooted in anti-racism.

Self care that dissociates us from liberation is not coming from self love, is not the end goal, nor the self care I speak of.

It’s important to try and not act from white urgency, but it’s also important to disrupt our patterns, not stay comfortable, and not turn away from racist atrocities either. However, if your pattern is to always jump to action that causes harm, maybe try sitting back and feeling your body. I know a lot of you are recovering people pleasers & perfectionists, so, remember pattern disruption, meaning, try doing things differently. Notice any shame that may want to creep in, but try separating it from yourself, visualize the shame taking a back seat.

With that being said, I encourage you to reflect on what you have been doing and what you haven’t been doing when it comes to anti-racism activism, how you have been performing or avoiding, how you have been berating or educating others, if you have been having conversations with white family members, how you have or haven’t been donating to bail funds, how you have been showing up locally at protests or not, how you have or haven’t been donating directly to BIPOC, how you have or haven’t been advocating for issues that don’t impact you directly. 

Again, this isn’t about shame, it’s about care and love and longing for a different world.

Notice your part while fighting binary thinking. You are not the most important, but you are important! You are not the only piece in this puzzle, but you are a piece! 

I won’t tell you right now a specific action to take, because this isn’t a 1, 2, 3 and done checklist. It’s a complete reorientation and lifestyle shift. We don’t need dissociated soldiers. We need sustained loving action that will disrupt all of our patterns and push us up against our shit. But again this for the long haul, so stay hydrated.

This is about orienting your lifetime towards liberation, and anti-racism is a key piece in that. Nothing to perform. It doesn’t need to be perfect.

I hope that you read this, let it sink, let your heart feel it, try something different, and keep orienting yourself towards liberation. 

loving you fiercely,

luna