There is a difference between money and capitalism.

I know that may be hard to believe, especially since there are many more examples of money being tied to exploitation than not.

Capitalism muddles money.

But money and capitalism are not the same.

While capitalism expands just for expansion's sake at the expense of the earth, humanity, and really anything that gets in the way of expansion. Capitalism strips peopel of their humanity. Capitalism rapes, enslaves and pollutes.

Money is an exchange. It’s just a marker of what we value and how much we value it. 

I used to see money and capitalism as synonymous so I would feel so guilty and weird about asking for money for my services, no matter how much I was offering.

How much time I was spending. How much knowledge and care I poured into my work

I felt asking for money was inherently wrong and gross so I would keep my prices really low as an apology for asking at all.

Even if you can get on board with seeing that money and capitalism are not the same thing, it doesn’t make all of your money woes go away.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, the environment and culture we grew up in, aka our parents and/or caretakers and anyone directly influencing us from a young age, greatly impacts our beliefs about money. 

• How did your caretakers deal with money?

• What were their beliefs?

• What messages were they directly or indirectly sending to you?

Seeing money from an animistic lens has helped me separate it from capitalism, individualism, trauma, & guilt and do lots of money healing.

Making money and doing business from a place of collaboration, consent and integrity takes slowness, creativity and dreaming out of this world of quick fix extraction.

Another world is possible. 

When I ask folks on social media what their beliefs about money are, I get responses like 

“It’s the root of all evil”

“It only corrupts”

“There is never enough”

If we see money as a spirit but hold the above beliefs, do you think money is really going to want to hang around?

But let’s back up.

The first step in healing our money wounds is recognizing the problem is NOT personal. It’s systemic.

Capitalism and patriarchy are brutal systems. They have impacted our bodies, psyches and spirits for generations upon generations.

Women, femmes, raised working class or poor, most of us weren’t taught about how to make or manage money. And if you were raised catholic, like me, or even christian, you may have gotten the message that if you are just “good enough” then you will be provided for.

Which again leads to personal moral failure and guilt and shame if you end up broke. 

Well, let me say it again: the problem is not you. It’s way larger. It’s systemic.

The cool part?

WE, as individuals, get to choose and build culture together on how we want to show up now and in the future. How we want to respond to these broken systems.

Here is a long-form quote from Kelly Diels, someone whose opinion I highly value on the topics of making money AND justic, who describes a response to the systems of patriarchy and capitalism around us:

"It is essential that women and femmes and marginalized peoples – the identities marked in our culture to be the uncompensated or wildly undercompensated labourers propping up our economies and families – accumulate savings, net worth, and wealth. Essential.

Because the social safety net is in tatters and no guarantee and neither, frankly, is love. You can love people all you want and take care of them and there is no guarantee that they will love you back if you’re diagnosed with cancer and can’t work or get Alzheimer’s and need 24/7 care.

This is not just about retirement, our elder years, surviving illnesses and emergencies and being deserving or in need. We don’t have to demonstrate overwhelming need to deserve to have money and resources.

This notion of deserving is a value that supports patriarchy and white supremacy. I believe we’ve internalized the cultural assumption that because we are not straight white men, we’re defective – which means we’ve got to compensate for that defect with becoming The Perfect Woman and with our endless labour. We earn and deserve resources only if we’ve met that criterion.

No.

Let’s assume that every human on this earth is deserving of a flourishing, abundant life and livelihood and a positive net worth. That’s our foundational notion.

When it comes to money, earning, wealth and net worth, let’s take ‘deserving’ and ‘worth it’ out of the equation."

-Kelly Diels

From this feminist business framework, the one that I am rooted into, we always name the system issue, the bigger picture instead of shaming the individual.

But we don’t stop there.

If we did, it could lead to enabling and pessimism. That’s just not my cup of my tea. I’m here to create, experience pleasure and spread hope.

That’s why, instead, I find another step important:

Step 1 is naming the systemic issue. Ie. capitalism and patriarchy.

Step 2 is asking yourself: How will I respond to it?

You can choose if you want to try and live an ascetic lifestyle.

Or you can choose to be a bossy bottom, participate but hate it the whole time.

Or you can choose a path of nuance, influencing culture, and knowing you are allowed to experience abundance.

You can choose the path of trusting yourself with money and power. And making badass feminist decisions from that place.

And maybe you don’t trust yourself right now.

But the thing is, trusting ourselves comes from feeling safe and it’s freaking hard to feel safe when are fighting just to survive and pay bills.

I’ve taught women, trans and non binary folks on how to heal their sexuality, but to feel sexual, we need to feel safe.

That’s why I kept coming back to talking about economic empowerment.

Money gives us advocacy, choice, security.

Can you imagine…

• What types of choices will you make when you feel secure?

• How will you share your wealth when its pouring over?

• Thinking about all of the shit wrong in the world? A lot easier to support and change when you have money! You can donate money, give services away for free once you are booked, advocate for change by how you show up in the world.

Abundance is possible. Collaboration, transparency, agency and connection are all possible. 

Want journal (and action) prompts to reflect on more topics like this?

I have a free mini-course for you.

A free 7-part, self-paced, mini-course to holistic & pleasure based business for feminists who want more abundance without sacrificing their values or wellbeing